Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
