Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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