How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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