Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
