It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize