i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just want nice things and good sex
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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