i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
