okay pat passed out under dana's car
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize