Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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