All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
