Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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