In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
