she woke up with a sticky ear
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize