A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Also, beer. Big fan.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
