why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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