And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
