she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
