My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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