so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
