dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
