if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
