I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
