Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize