I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
