we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm at about main and main street
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
