If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
