i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
