i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
