Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize