Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Randomize
