Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
