Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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