I'm so fucking centered right now
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
