He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
