I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
