I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize