after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
