i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize