Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Randomize
