Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
