some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
