Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
