Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
