and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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