you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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