I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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