I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
