then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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