the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
