The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
