I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
