either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
