I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
