He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize