i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
