dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
