This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
