this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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