can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
