if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
