is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
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