I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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