he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
