it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Pooping to opera.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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