I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
