Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
