More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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