Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Are we still banned from the library?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize