I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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