): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
